Fallen To Far To Go Back
by IsChickenRoastedOrToasted
Summary: Set after Civil War Natasha has spent enough time alone to not remember what it is really like to love but when a ghost from her past returns the emotions and memories all fall back into place. Will her ghost love her or will it leave her again?
1. AN

**A/N **

**This is dedicated to Iloveyourfreckles for being my inspiration for writing. Without your encouragement and messages, I don't think I would've been motivated enough. And to EscapeTheBoundsOfReality your story is so good, you've written one of the best representations of BuckyNat's relationship and I hope you like this.**

**This is my first posted fanfic and I would appreciate feedback from everyone. This is the first chapter out of three that I've planned but I could push it to a story that's a bit longer. Also, I'm not American so therefore some spelling maybe incorrect for some people.**

**This is set after Civil War and there is no Infinity War. I would also like to warn you that there is minor LANGUAGE in here, but you've heard it all before if you're a Marvel fan. They are also closer to T'Challa.**

**Russian is written "Like this" **

_**Thoughts are in italics**_**.**

**Enjoy.**


	2. Awaiting A Lover's Hold

The sky was a stunning purply-blue with copper hues streaked through the clouds. Everything was waking up around them but not Natasha, Steve and Sam, they hadn't slept all night. Between the anticipation and the restlessness, none of them could sleep, the quinjet was on autopilot and they had all tried to rest but waiting to see him had left them all sleepless, especially Natasha.

Two days ago, T'Challa had called and said that Bucky was awake and has started to regain his memories as Shuri was successfully able to erase HYDRA's control on his mind. Steve had been so happy and immediately asked when they could come which, of course, was right away. Now Natasha sat in the quinjet, silent, thinking about what their reunion would look like.

_Did he now remember her? _

_Would he still love her? _

_I know I still do,_ Natasha thought as she stared out at the glowing morning sky. She had loved him ever since they were ripped apart from each other. They still had two hours until they were at Wakanda, so Natasha got out of her seat and walked over to where Steve was sitting, his head in his hands, unmoving except for his rhythmic breathing.

"Steve? Are you awake or will I have to carry your ass to the palace?" Sam had just entered the main area where the two friends were and began laughing at her statement.

"I think you'll have to get a whole battalion to carry him." Sam joked. Natasha didn't even need to think about her reply. "Careful what you say Wilson, I'm worth more than a battalion and stronger too. I'll carry both your asses in there."

"We don't doubt that for a second, Nat," Steve finally looked up with a grin spreading across his face.

"Oh good, you didn't pass out on us."

"Ha-ha. Real funny Nat," was Steve's reply.

"I hope they have food there for us," Sam spoke this time, earning a smirk and eyebrow quirk from Natasha. "Really Sam?"

"I might also get the sleep I need."

"Okay princess, you'll get beauty rest." Sam rolled his eyes at her teasing before winking and sitting down next to Steve.

Over the next two hours, the trio was even more restless then they had been for the past six hours. They had been in the air for five hours, after waiting for darkness to fall back in Lebanon, they had bordered the quinjet and had flown through the night. It was now 7:30am and they were approaching Wakanda. Natasha hadn't actually been to the hidden country before, but she had heard of its beauty from Steve and Sam, especially Sam. She sat in the cockpit next to Steve, anticipation eating away at her stomach and lungs, making her breaths short and sharp as she tried to calm herself and keep up her neutral façade.

"Ready Nat?" Steve turned his head to look at his best friend.

"There is nothing here but mountains," Natasha sent him a quizzical look, "I don't think that that's Wakanda Steve."

Sam and Steve started laughing as Steve headed straight towards the mountain that she was looking at. The barrier that protected Wakanda allowed their entrance and Natasha couldn't help but gape.

The surrounding mountains were a deep green and perfectly protected the city as the sun began to glow from behind the peaks. The vast river that ran down the centre of the city shone with the morning colours and sparkled under the early rays of light. The architecture of the buildings was unlike anything she had ever seen, the tall ones had a style that perfectly blended the modern world with a tribal and ancient one.

_Everything here gives off that feeling,_ Natasha thought to herself. It was calming, and she could see exactly why it was the perfect place for James to be staying, everything was peaceful and protected. _Everything he deserves_, she smiled to herself.

While caught up in her own thoughts and the view, she hadn't noticed a certain bird brain recording her reaction.

"Damn girl, you should see your face!" Sam laughed from where he had been recording. Natasha turned to him with a glare that was only a quarter of her normal death glare and it still scared him shitless. She didn't mean for him to get off so easily, but she was distracted by the sight before her and the longing she felt rising in her gut and trying to make its way to her heart.

_No,_ she thought, _I can't let myself become comprised again, not after last time_.

She realised that it wasn't her thoughts though that were making her feel so giddy and her stomach flip. It was her instinct and need to be near him. Her James.

Steve began to lower the jet onto the palaces landing area.

"You good?" Steve asked her as they left the cockpit.

"Always, how about you Rogers?" she really did want to know how he was going, he always opened up to her.

"Well, Bucky's been awake for a week and Shuri said that would be enough time to really let memories and his freedom from Hydra sink in. She also said that there may be moments that come to him if his memory is triggered. I think that he's going to b- "

"No Steve," Natasha cut him off, "How are you?" She stared right into his blue eyes, just that look alone told her how he was feeling.

"Nervous but excited. I'm getting my best friend back. I know that he'll be different, but he really still is Bucky Barnes; the jerk from Brooklyn."

Natasha put a hand around his waist as he placed his left arm over her shoulders.

"I want in on the action!" Sam exclaimed as he threw his right arm over Steve's. The other two laughed as Natasha put her left arm around her other companions' waist. They began their trek down the ramp and onto the palace grounds, where the royal family stood waiting for them.

"Captain." T'Challa greeted Steve with a one-armed hug.

"Your Highness," Steve responded to the hug.

T'Challa moved onto Natasha. "Hello, Agent Romanoff." They embraced.

"T'Challa." She nodded, the unnecessary formality of the greetings keeping her mind in business mode and grounding her emotions, trapping them behind that steel wall in her head.

"What's up Kitty? Sam said as he hugged the King. He also ignored Steve's look and the eyebrows of disappointment.

"If it isn't my favourite little blackbird."

Sam rolled his eyes, "You know it's Falcon, man."

From behind T'Challa came a laugh, soft and mischievous. Shuri stood with her mother, both smiling at the exchange.

The Princess approached Steve first, "Rogers," she hugged him before turning to Sam and doing the same. She finally turned to Natasha, "Agent Romanoff."

"Please call me Natasha, I've heard so much about you and your genius work Princess."

"Just Shuri alright, I can say the same about you though."

Natasha was taken aback for a moment before realising Steve and Sam had probably told the young princess about her.

T'Challa began to speak, "As you know you're here for – "

"A semi-stable hundred-year-old man." He was interrupted by a particular smooth talking and mysterious soldier. Bucky's brown hair had been trimmed and washed, and his stubble had been shaped to perfection, lining his strong jaw. His blue, steely grey eyes were livelier than they had been in years.

"Hey, Stevie." Steve wrapped his arms around his best friend, relived and joyous to see him in a healthy state. They stood there for a good minute before they let go of each other.

"It's good to have you back, Buck."

"It's good to be back."

"Okay, move over, my go. How ya been Snowflake?" Sam immediately gave him a hug.

"Not bad Bird Brain. We still hate each other, right?" Sam grinned at his response.

"You know it."

Bucky then looked over at Natasha. She saw hundreds of emotions and memories in his eyes and he saw the same reflecting in her eyes.

"Natalia." He said it so quietly that she nearly didn't catch it. She let out the breath she didn't know was sitting in her lungs, wanting to escape. Nothing else mattered, the moment consumed her. She stood before him, tears building up in her eyes, threatening to spill.

"James."

She let out another breath that she'd held in before she ran straight towards him. He stepped forward catching her in his open arms. He pulled her tight against his chest as her arms gripped desperately behind his neck. She buried her face into his firm chest as he leant into her neck and shoulder.

"God, I've missed you, Natalia. I'm sorry about everything." Tears fell from her eyes when she heard his gravelly voice speak in Russian. They had both dreamed of this moment ever since they were separated, even if James hadn't remembered due to having his memory wiped, through all of it he remembered her touch, her embrace, her lips and all the emotions and memories they shared.

"Don't apologize, James, I've missed you too." She drew back from the hug after another minute, but she didn't leave his arms, instead, she looked into his endless blue eyes before smashing her lips on his. As if some second nature, James immediately responded, kissing her back. The fire that consumed them back in the Red Room had reignited in their hearts, but both knew it had never died.

When they broke apart they were again aware that they weren't alone. Shocked faces surrounded them all but one. Shuri. Natasha raised her eyebrows at the princess.

"Captain Rogers wasn't the only one who has told me about how amazing you are."

Steve couldn't believe his eyes when he saw Natasha blush.

_The _NATASHA ROMANOFF was blushing.

Natasha linked her hand with James' and leant into his side. "What?" She smirked.

"So, you're telling me that you knew one another," Sam said through a mouthful, too excited about the meal in front of him and new revelation to care about his manners.

"Sam, manners, be respectful," Steve looked over at his friend with a smile and raised eyebrows before they changed to 'The Eyebrows of Disappointment,' "Please."

Sam shut his mouth and swallowed his food before turning back to the two assassins sitting across from him and Steve.

Before Bucky could roll his eyes and reply for the fifteenth time in the past five minutes, Sam spoke again.

"What? Nat why are you looking at me like that?"

Natasha just rolled her eyes and told him to shut up, earning laughs from Bucky, Steve and Shuri, while T'Challa and Queen Romanda just smiled.

**A/N **

**I really wanted to write this prompt, ** . /pin/704320829206228844/** hence the story.**


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